The golden trapeze

One of the things that has worked for me recently in dealing with depression is visualization. By visualization I mean seeing myself doing something in my mind, something positive, fun or relaxing.

When I was in high school and playing hockey I had a psychologist who suggested to me that if I wanted to be a better goalie I should see myself making stops. Sure enough, when I took the time to actually see myself making saves, I did well in practice and in competition.

To achieve things we all need a stroke of confidence in our abilities to take on new challenges and adjust. Confidence is not only built up on prior success, but the idea that we can succeed.

For too long I have not worked on visualization enough, but two weeks ago, after returning from a long day and night at my office, I used my powers of visualization in a way that drastically boasted my mood in the short term, but also me fall asleep. Laying in my bed, still as I could be, I imagined myself on an island in the middle of a heavenly ocean, with water so blue and cozy I felt at ease just thinking about it. The water was warm and heated just right by the sun, that I took off my clothes and waded out backwards into it, facing the soft white sand and the palm trees along the shoreline. When I was chest high in the water I lay in it on my back and stared up at the clear sky and the sun that did not burn my eyes but shown into my soul and healing light. For a good few minutes of minds time I was in bliss and began splashing at the water. Eventually, I imagined God with me, watching me from a distance and others on a beach nearby swimming. Then for measure a boat came to the shoreline and we walked towards it. We boarded it and it took us out to sea a ways where we were in the bluest, warmest, safest waters. I was diving off of the side of the boat and could have sworn for a moment that I was there in that peaceful place in the universe that exists inside of my head.

Afterwards, I put myself at Shea Stadium in Queens, standing first in the right hand batters box and then the left, as a pitcher threw fastballs, sliders and curves. I’d connect on them and watch them fly or rip threw the air as line drives. Eventually, I feel asleep. When I awoke in the morning, I felt absolutely great. Tonight, I’ll be trying the Golden Trapeze, which is a guided imagery meditation in which you see yourself on a trapeze. I’m not too familiar with how they work, so I watched some videos on youtube. I think that it will be a fun visualization. My serene visualization is the desert or a sandy beach at night with a purple sky. I’m almost always with others on this beach or if I’m alone, I imagine God with me. I enjoy it. It is peaceful and I am somewhere else, away from my negative thoughts.

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