Negative thinking

Since the age of about 13 I have had on and off bouts of depression. It is easy to chalk a lot of this up to heredity as my mother, father and two siblings have had depression, two grandparents and even a great-uncle of mine committed suicide here in Albany in the 1930’s.

Depression is of course a physical illness, but it is also an illness of the spirit and one that if it is not caused by negativity is certainly strengthened by it.

Along with the miles I run and walk, I mark my overall mood each day on a calendar. A smiling face means a good day. A sad day is frowning and a day that fits somewhere in between is marked by a pursed look.

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Visualizing the right mate?

It sounds a bit crazy, I think, but after more than a year-and-a-half of dating girls I’ve met through friends or social networking sites and finding no chemistry and them finding none as well, I’m willing to try mos tthings short of a Russian bride.

A New Age friend of mine suggests visualization. To find the right person one must attract the qualities that they seek. I thought about this concept for a while before realizing in principle that it makesĀ  a great deal of sense. If we can focus on what we want out of life, it makes it easier to acheive those things.


Skeptical and lacking confidence that this theory works, it took a little extra energy to put together a list of qualities that I am looking for in a woman.

1 Confidence: I like a girl who is assured of herself, mentally and physically. I prefer women who don’t defer to what others may think of them as their soul guidepost of how to be.

2. Sense of humor: I enjoy laughing at and finding humor in the crazy world in which I have no choice but to live. A partner in whom I could share the ability to joke around iss essential.

3. Compassion: Any woman I would want to be with would have in herself a concern for tohers. Her compassion however would not be overextended, but instead meaningful and well-placed. It would not be exploitable. In other words, a woman who is not a sucker.

4. Motivated: It is great to be around people who want to be out and about in their daily lives. A partner who liked to hike, walk, rollerblade, go outdoors, see movies, take day trips, travel and go out to eat would be good.

5. Strong: I would like to find someone who I felt wasnt’ lookin for someone to solve all their problems or to fulfill an obligation to simply have someone because that’s the way she feels adult life should be. She should have interests.

It took some effort to put that list together. What you’re supposed to do is see yourself with that person and it will make it easier to find them and be with them. I don’t think it’s an overnight thing, and I’m sure it requires quite a bit of discipline, but it makes some sense to me. I’ll see, I guess.