Seemingly stuck at 188 – And I think I know why

The unanimous opinion in the fitness community seems to be that you should not weigh yourself every day when you are in the midst of a diet or weight loss plan. It makes sense that the daily scale reading would be somewhat unreliable for an overall picture because based on a number of factors ranging [...]

Brains do funny things

 For more than seven years now I’ve dealt with on and off bouts of depression. None have been particularly awful, but the indescribable feelings of low mood and reduced energy do come and go enough to be noticeable in my life. Sometimes they are fueled by stress that is not handled correctly. Other times they [...]

Sleep deprivation

I work in government. It’s budget season, and though I am not privy to any of the dealings–as my line of duty is much different–we are all busy and all stressed out. It’s been more than a week since I did laundry and the burgandy checkered shirt I wear right now is the last of [...]

Living in rubble

I suppose that it may be a little rash to compare my apartment to a bombed out building in Beirut, but it feels that way. Today is the tenth day in a row that I have put on a shirt and tie and gone to work. Normally, I have weekends off, but with the state’s [...]

Negative thinking

Since the age of about 13 I have had on and off bouts of depression. It is easy to chalk a lot of this up to heredity as my mother, father and two siblings have had depression, two grandparents and even a great-uncle of mine committed suicide here in Albany in the 1930′s. Depression is [...]

Thing not done

I snapped the picture below this morning while I walked to the bus. There was no particular reason for taking it and most of the images that I grab with my digital camera are quite random. Nevertheless, when I looked at it, it provided me a more profound thought than I anticipated. Ever since I [...]

186 lbs. / Self-image

So much of what we think about ourselves is actually shaped by our perception of what others think of us. Although there are people who are narcisstic and vain, most folks generally speaking rate themselves lower than others when it comes to looks, intelligence and overall competence. We have all been dumfounded I think by [...]

Thoughts, dirt, semi-precious stones and gems

I have found that only shackle in adult life has been my capacity to think–actually overthink–things tot he point of frustration and confusion. It’s perfectly acceptable to have any manner of thought and quite normal to have bizarre, nonsensical and illogical thoughts. The problem is in knowing when to tell yourself that they’re just thoughts [...]

The future is neither here nor there

I’ve come to understand that it is hard to live in the moment but destructive to live awaiting the future, because the very day we live in and rue was once a day we lived to reach and so focusing on the future without regard for the present is a waste of our time on [...]

The golden trapeze

One of the things that has worked for me recently in dealing with depression is visualization. By visualization I mean seeing myself doing something in my mind, something positive, fun or relaxing. When I was in high school and playing hockey I had a psychologist who suggested to me that if I wanted to be [...]